Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

I can’t hear you, I Want to see you

November 12, 2011

This extremely funny clip serves as a good demonstration to the state of the art in conferencing. But if humankind can ride 30 meter waves, maybe there is a chance we can improve here as well.

Video conferencing is going to hit mainstream – the technology and bandwidth are available for couple of years , but now the software and hardware are also ubiquitous.

Smart phones and new laptops have an excellent built-in camera and microphone built-in and all the new messengers have built-in Video calling.

I have been evangelizing video usage in EMC Beer Sheva new site, and while it takes some time to get used to , it is hard to go back.

Don’t be surprised if the breakthrough here would come from a new player  and not the traditional players.

Unified Messaging – while there is no technology barrier to get it done, I know very few people who actually get all their email, phone, cellular ,calendar, voice mail and SMS information in aggregated fashion,in the same location and accessible through multiple views and devices. This is quite weird since the technology is around for a long time.

Even my $300 Cisco smart VOIP phone is no smarter than the $100 Panasonic wireless phone at home or the $10 unizen phone. No integration with email and messenger, no integration with cellular , no video capabilities. This seems like a product management issue.  Again, who ever gets it right and create the “DropBox” of unified messaging would “surprisingly” create a huge company.

High (Normal) Quality Voice Conferencing – at least 50% of the voice conferencing I attend have a horrible sound quality. People drop of, people can’t connect , there is background noise from traffic, annoying echoes, low sound quality and the list goes on. While the market is “commoditized” in theory this is , IMHO, BS.  While there are many free conferencing solutions they all suck, pardon my French. To make matters worst , the paid services are just as bad. I would be very happy to pay 10$ a month for a great audio conferencing service that always works, has easy sign on,  great sound quality, built-in recording and email\SMS reminders.


Americana 2011 – Salman Rushdie,Dealing with a Terrorist and Mini-Vans

May 7, 2011
Midnights Children

Midnights Children

I’m back in Israel now, but here are some random thoughts from my last trip.

  • EMC has an indoors swimming pool 🙂
  • In Brookline, Boston , one can not park between 2-6AM. What a polite way to discriminate minorities.
  • One can consume a lot of culture in an eleven hours day flight.
  • “The Fighter” is a great movie. Lots of great boxing scenes and not too tacky.
  • Reading through Salman’s Rushdie’s first novel. Extremely talented, but his later work is more elegant. Correction – the first 200 pages are a bit disorganized, but the book keeps getting better all the time.
  • “Topic Thunder” is a very funny movie. Or maybe it is just the lack of oxygen


  • Got an upgrade to business. Thanks to 100,000 miles in 2010. The Sundae is the best part, but the desert port was also nice 🙂
  • Hilton is better than Best Western. Even if it is the Hilton Garden-Inn. Upgraded me to the suite. Now I have Two 50″ televisions in the room.
  • No compact cars left for National. They gave me a Mini-Van with 8 seats ! I would never be able to park it in Tel Aviv. I feel like a soccer mom.
  • Back to Stanford after 24 years. It seems much bigger now. in 1987 I remember I brought my IBM-PC diskette to practice my turbo pascal skills during the summer. They did not have PC labs at the time. Now I’m standing in the William Gates building :). The Marguerite is still here.
  • Funny quote from the directions to Stanford
  • Note that not all of the entrances to the Gates Building are labelled as such. The entrance nearest the parking lot is labelled “Gates Bldg” in a new wooden sign, and another entrance is grandly labelled “Engineering Fund Venture Laboratories.” (Stanford’s Engineering Venture Fund donated the “naming” gift of the B-wing after William Gates of Microsoft donated the “naming” gift of the A-wing.)
  • I meet more old Israeli Check Point friends in California than in Israel
  • There is a restaurant in Mountain View that’s open after 9PM 🙂 ! (XANH)

An Israeli and an American board On an Airplane

December 25, 2010

The Israeli woman is 35 years old, and carries 1.5 years old baby boy, three years old girl and seven bags with diapers, puzzles, scratch books, pacifiers, extra cloths, Kleenex, bottles and a little foldout nuclear radiation shelter, just to be on the safe side.

The American is 60ish,  full-bodied dance teacher in a community college with an elegant  carry on bag that could be used for a small elephant.

Unfortunately, they are seated together, at row 7 seats A,B,C, just after what continental likes to call “First Class”. For those of you who have not traveled 100,000 miles these year , this row has extra leg room, but only two places for carry on bags, and none are allowed while takeoff or landing.

Couple putting suitcase in overhead compartment

Opening scene : build-up.

The Israeli women boards the plane, bitter look in her eyes, screaming baby on one arm and nagging daughter on the other.

Her Hi-Tech husband is lucky to be far away, because if looks could kill they probably will. She locates two of her bags in front of her, one kid is sitting on her lap and the other next to the window.

The American lady sits next to them. looking for a place to store her bag.

AM: Could you please put one of your bags in the overhead department ?

IL: I need my bags all the time.

AM: I need a place to put my bag.

IL: I need it for the kids, the kids need it. I will need it every second.

AM: Maybe you can move it away a bit ?

IL: You don’t understand (Very bitter look on her face), it’s for the kids, you are a grown women, they can’t be without their toys.

AM: I’ll ask the flight attendant for help.

FA: How can I help?

AM: We only have a place for two bags.

IL: But I paid for two tickets ! I should get a place for two bags, she is an old lady, they are just kids.

FA:  I can help you find a spot just over your head, it’s not a problem.

IL: But you don’t understand, I need it all the time.

FA: Maybe you can keep all the urgent things in one bag and I’ll put the second bag right here, so the lady could have a place for her bag as well ?

IL: I’ll have to go in and out all the time, they needs their things.

FA: I think we are going to have a lot of fun for the next five hours.

LUTON, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 22:  A passenger sleeps in the terminal building of Luton airport on December 22, 2009 in Luton, England. Adverse weather conditions of heavy snowfall have caused cancellations to flights and trains across the country as well as forming long queues on the roads.  (Photo by Oli Scarff/Getty Images)

Scene Two: The Senior flight Attendant.

SFA: All bags should be placed in the overhead department during takeoff and landing.

IL: But I need my bags.

SFA: These are the security regulations, please give me your bags.

IL: But the other attendant did not tell me about it. He should have told me about it.

SFA: You are delaying all of the plane , could you please hand me your bags?

IL: Take them, but the kids are going to cry.

AM: ( whispering) Is there another seat available on the plane?

IL: I’m not a bad person. I’m not a bad person. I heard that you want to switch, but I’m not a bad person.

AM: ( To me ) Are there many Israelis on this flight?

Eclectic Street Signs

June 20, 2010

A weird combination of home made ads on one board in Ramat Hasharon, Israel.

Stand-Up Religion and Crazy Marriage Comedy

Stand-Up Religion and Crazy Marriage Comedy

Stand-Up Religion and Crazy Marriage Comedy
Obituary Or Comedy

Obituary Or Comedy ?

Obituary  And Jachnun

Obituary And Jachnun

Young Cleaner For Hire - With a License

Young Cleaner For Hire - With a License