The Questions Reporters Never Ask (But Should)

In the technical field bloggers can be more professional and accurate then analysts\reporters  because they actually use the products they talk abort in the field.

I’ll demonstrate with the top questions you never hear analysts ask, but they should be asking, IMO.Lets assume a company just a announced a new version of their cool, innovative database. Here is an imaginary dialog.

Question:  How many memory leaks does your new Database have ?

Answer : We don’t really know because we didn’t find all of them, we have a watchdog that kills the daemon every 6 hours. Marketing invented a great name for it – “Automatic recovery in resource constraint environments”.

Question: If the new features are so good, why are they turned off by default ?

Answer: we thought that the real customers would not appreciate the 90% decrease in performance, but still wanted to get the “innovative vendor” award.

Question: How many bugs have you decided not to fix in this version ?

Answer : Only 500. We decided that if the customers haven’t complain about the 5000 bugs in previous versions, we should be fine this time as well.

Question: Why are you bundling the automatic scheme UI with the basic package now ?

Answer: no one would buy the stupid thing as standalone product. This way we might make some bucks out of it.

Question: Can I get the product to play with for 30 days ?

Answer : God forbid. Next thing you’ll want to talk to real customers and not just the two we found for you.


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